Okay -
so today starts my therapy/treatment whichever is the right way to say it. I'll be taking daily injections of copaxone. It has been a rough day so far for me. I think is has more to do with the fact that once I start the drug it is real. This is really part of my life now. I have multiple sclerosis.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
confused
ever feel like you just don't know what just happened?
that's what is happening this morning. negativity in the house, when Mom says no - move on, don't whine about, or throw your ipod shuffle, or bang your head on the couch saying you wished it was the wall. that isn't a way to get what you want.
fess up to your mistakes - and the easiest way to get Mom or Dad off you back is to do what you are asked (without complaining or whining or attitude) - then contiune doing it in the future (i.e. turn off lights when you leave a room, flush the toilet after you use it, dishes into the dishwasher if it is dirty, put your things away right after you use them).
if something is bothering you - then please talk to your family members. don't just decide to go out, and you'll be back later. that hurts feelings.
several things need to do today (shop for shoes - running/walking, put laundry away, get ready for the school week, get roast into crockpot, play referee to the kids, want to get more things organized).
guess I should get off the computer and get going, but needed to do something instead of scream into pillow or beat the couch (especially since I ask the kids not to do that) or over react to something the kids have done.
that's what is happening this morning. negativity in the house, when Mom says no - move on, don't whine about, or throw your ipod shuffle, or bang your head on the couch saying you wished it was the wall. that isn't a way to get what you want.
fess up to your mistakes - and the easiest way to get Mom or Dad off you back is to do what you are asked (without complaining or whining or attitude) - then contiune doing it in the future (i.e. turn off lights when you leave a room, flush the toilet after you use it, dishes into the dishwasher if it is dirty, put your things away right after you use them).
if something is bothering you - then please talk to your family members. don't just decide to go out, and you'll be back later. that hurts feelings.
several things need to do today (shop for shoes - running/walking, put laundry away, get ready for the school week, get roast into crockpot, play referee to the kids, want to get more things organized).
guess I should get off the computer and get going, but needed to do something instead of scream into pillow or beat the couch (especially since I ask the kids not to do that) or over react to something the kids have done.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
FRUSTRATION!!
They (although I am not really sure who "they" are) say that right before I break through comes frustration. Well, I am really looking forward to what should be a GREAT BIG HUGE breakthrough.
Frustration is also a daily thing lately, with about everything. Then I feel like if I say anything - I am the bad person. Some of my frustration no one but me can do anything about - and I really am trying to work on those things. Keeping my things more organized - so the kids can come back and say, "but look at your room or see your shoes are in the middle of the living room). Trying to keep up with the housework a little better. It's just hard when trying to do those things and all the "old" organizing and cleaning - and the everyday things.
James 1:2-3 - My brothers and sisters, you will face all kinds of trouble. When you do, think of it as pure joy. Your faith will be put to the test. You know that when that happens it will produce in you the strength to continue. Posted this verse on my Facebook today - guess I really needed to read it. Wonder if frustration can also be considered trouble? I need to see the joy in small accomplishments, instead of saying well, if I get all these things done (the basement, my bedroom, the bathrooms, the boys rooms, etc.) THEN I will feel better and can relax.
I also need to learn to not feel guilty about taking the time for me to rest periodically throughout the day. I know that if I get too run down, that I will get sick. Found that out the hard way right after christmas, nothing like being sick over New Year's (and old MS symptoms returning because I was running a fever).
Oh well, this helped with some frustration - now to box a few more things up (VOA has a truck coming around tomorrow - and some stuff is going OUT).
Frustration is also a daily thing lately, with about everything. Then I feel like if I say anything - I am the bad person. Some of my frustration no one but me can do anything about - and I really am trying to work on those things. Keeping my things more organized - so the kids can come back and say, "but look at your room or see your shoes are in the middle of the living room). Trying to keep up with the housework a little better. It's just hard when trying to do those things and all the "old" organizing and cleaning - and the everyday things.
James 1:2-3 - My brothers and sisters, you will face all kinds of trouble. When you do, think of it as pure joy. Your faith will be put to the test. You know that when that happens it will produce in you the strength to continue. Posted this verse on my Facebook today - guess I really needed to read it. Wonder if frustration can also be considered trouble? I need to see the joy in small accomplishments, instead of saying well, if I get all these things done (the basement, my bedroom, the bathrooms, the boys rooms, etc.) THEN I will feel better and can relax.
I also need to learn to not feel guilty about taking the time for me to rest periodically throughout the day. I know that if I get too run down, that I will get sick. Found that out the hard way right after christmas, nothing like being sick over New Year's (and old MS symptoms returning because I was running a fever).
Oh well, this helped with some frustration - now to box a few more things up (VOA has a truck coming around tomorrow - and some stuff is going OUT).
Monday, January 18, 2010
Trying Something New
Must be something in the air today, this is the second new thing for me. Earlier today I registered for a 5K, not in my "normal" routine. As a mom of three young boys, who works part-time and isn't a runner - this is highly unusual. Although, in the last few years I can't say much about my life has been usual.
Our youngest son was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3-1/2, so between doctor appt.'s, testing, then therapies - plus the schedules of the older two, not much time is really left over for other things.
Then, I have the fear of leaving him with others. He does well - it's Mom who panics. He can't tell me if anything happens to him that shouldn't. This scares me - his first day of preschool I was a wreck. This has gotten better, and things were falling into a pretty good schedule and routine when the bottom kinda fell out.
I had numbness in my toes, that then spread to my legs. Thinking I had just pulled a muscle or pinched or nerve or something - I scheduled a Doctor appointment (with a brand new doctor, since over the last few years I really hadn't been to one). Well, a few MRI's, a spinal tap, nuero-opthomolagist appt. and tests, and MONTHS later - a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis was given.
Now - waiting for the insurance company to decide which treatment they think would be better for me. I know which one I want - but, it can cost $24,000.00 per year. SO - waiting to hear how much they will pay, and how much would have to be out of our pockets.
I am just tired. Partly because of the MS, partly because I am a Mom, partly because of insurance companies & red tape.
So, this blog is to help me get things out. Maybe sort them out in my head. An outlet for how I am feeling.
One more thing that anyone reading this should know - I am a Christian, I do believe in God. He has a plan and a purpose in all of this, that I know. I may not be happy that I don't know the plan & the purpose - that's where the faith part comes in.
Our youngest son was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3-1/2, so between doctor appt.'s, testing, then therapies - plus the schedules of the older two, not much time is really left over for other things.
Then, I have the fear of leaving him with others. He does well - it's Mom who panics. He can't tell me if anything happens to him that shouldn't. This scares me - his first day of preschool I was a wreck. This has gotten better, and things were falling into a pretty good schedule and routine when the bottom kinda fell out.
I had numbness in my toes, that then spread to my legs. Thinking I had just pulled a muscle or pinched or nerve or something - I scheduled a Doctor appointment (with a brand new doctor, since over the last few years I really hadn't been to one). Well, a few MRI's, a spinal tap, nuero-opthomolagist appt. and tests, and MONTHS later - a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis was given.
Now - waiting for the insurance company to decide which treatment they think would be better for me. I know which one I want - but, it can cost $24,000.00 per year. SO - waiting to hear how much they will pay, and how much would have to be out of our pockets.
I am just tired. Partly because of the MS, partly because I am a Mom, partly because of insurance companies & red tape.
So, this blog is to help me get things out. Maybe sort them out in my head. An outlet for how I am feeling.
One more thing that anyone reading this should know - I am a Christian, I do believe in God. He has a plan and a purpose in all of this, that I know. I may not be happy that I don't know the plan & the purpose - that's where the faith part comes in.
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